NBH 024: Dissolving Structures

We are on the same theme of things falling apart. This is the time of the global pandemic, and systems have died that have not been sustainable. And now we're talking about dissolving structure; the idea of dissolving the structure or the structures that we have been so attached to. And this can be really simple. As lawyers, we have our uniform of what we think we're supposed to wear and how we're supposed to look. And that's all dissolved. Or we think we need to have an office. We think we need to present a certain way to clients.

All of that structure around our profession has dissolved. And now court hearings are being held telephonically, or on video. And a lot of court decorum has been dissolving at home. Maybe your standards have dissolved the structures you had in place. Your work-life boundaries have dissolved: your parenting responsibilities and your work responsibilities have all run into each other. We're dissolving boundaries and structures and this is the same theme. Everything that we thought we needed is falling apart.

When everything dissolves it creates more space. This week (or until we meet again), I would like to invite you to notice the structures that you had before that you were attached to. For me it was scheduling activities outside of my house, certain things to maintain community. Those structures, those routines, have dissolved. I'm creating new ones but it's not the same. I had to really let all of that dissolve: what I thought my future was going to be, what I thought the structures in my life that I created myself were going to lead to, where I thought I would be, where I thought I would be a few months from now.

Where would I be in my business? Where would I be in my personal life and my relationships? All of that is dissolved and it's like this empty space where these structures were. And I invite you to live in that, to lean into that. It all just melted: all the hard edges, all of the potential, all of that masculine energy we put in with straight lines and plans.

Many of you have probably been building your business and watching it dissolve, watching your plans dissolve. Some people are struggling in personal relationships and work relationships. You've worked with people that you have paid or people who have paid you. Relationships with clients or vendors or employees are dissolving, just disappearing. And this is all a part of the human existence. It's all a part of our relationship with time because we created these structures and relationships to make us feel like we knew what the future would hold. But we really don't. We live in the unknown and uncertainty all the time. We create these structures to protect us from not seeing things directly. That's a little shield or a little wall in between, which is fine because this is very overwhelming.

Without those structures it is very overwhelming to look at things, to experience things directly. And as these structures dissolve, the way to get through this is to slow down and let them. I promise there's something better, the best possibility on the other side. As your structures dissolve consider swimming in that melted ice cube. (I was thinking of melting and ice.) But just consider leaning in, allowing it to happen and allowing yourself to be uncomfortable without the structure. Be uncomfortable without the space where we control and make plans.

Then you can be comfortable with not having a plan, not knowing what is next. Be completely present, stopping time and extending and expanding your relationship with time by being in the dissolution of the structures that you've created.

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